If I were to ask you, “Do you want to lose weight?” the answer would probably be a resounding yes (most people do these days). But if I were to ask you “Do you want to change?” the answer would probably be either a hesitant yes, I don’t know, or a flat out no. And why would you? We do the things we do for good reasons. You wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing unless there was some perceived benefit. The things that you do make you happy – at least for a little while.
You perceive a benefit to eating when you’re not hungry. You perceive a benefit to overeating on a regular basis. You perceive a benefit to binging on all those foods you put on your Never Eat Again list. That’s why “simply stopping” emotional eating is honestly impossible; the immediate and intense emotional benefit you’re deriving from food far outweighs the shaky promise of a slimmer you sometime down the road.
Human beings (and all organisms really) are always trying to move in a direction that feels good in the moment. We’re all just trying to feel better now. Even when you’re doing something that you really don’t like to do, you’re doing it because you think that it will ultimately make you happier.That’s why change seems so difficult; if we truly wanted to do something different then we would have long ago! As long as your coping mechanism (food, cigarettes, anything!) is still working for you, you will not give it up.
We all know that we can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result, but we really want a different result, therefore something has to change. So how does one make changes that will actually stick? By making changes that make you feel good now.
Diets (of any form) are restriction. Restriction is resistance and fear. Resistance and fear never has and never will feel good. Therefore, diets do not work. They teach you that broccoli is “good” and brownies are “bad”, therefore, if you eat or want brownies you should feel bad about yourself. But if you create a reality in which you feel emotionally negative when you desire or eat certain foods, then you have set yourself up to live in a permanent state of either fear or guilt… which, as I’m sure you can surmise, is not good for your health, far more so than just eating a darn brownie!
You do not have to suffer your way to a happy, healthy life. I can show you another way – a way that actually works, because it addresses the real problems, rather the symptoms.